My Old Man

Now I’m a giant… Got a son of my own

My Old Man is a beautiful song performed by The Zac Brown Band, which became a favorite of mine from the first moment it reached my ears. One might think the song makes me reminisce about all the fond memories experienced growing up with my old man and that is why I fell in love with the tune. They would be wrong. 

Today, my father and I have a great relationship, but I do not have very many fond memories of my father growing up. I don’t want to get into all the reasons, but lets just say I was always a bit concerned with having a son as I feared having this same relationship with my son.

So, the day I found out my wife was pregnant with our first child I was elated, yet also a bit terrified at the thought I would have a son. A daughter, well that would be great, I have always gotten along with my mom and sisters famously! I get along with my wife, so a daughter that will be just fine but there is a 50% chance this little one is a boy! 

This might be the reason it took me so long to wrap my head around wanting to have a child. That thought of “what kind of father I would be?”, was always constant in the back of my mind. 

A deep rooted lasting memories of running to my bedroom whenever I heard the garage door open every weekday at 5:30pm, as I wanted to stay clear of dad when he walked through the door, is this what my son would be doing? As I reached adulthood, this truly bother me, as I always wanted that fun loving father/son relationship. You know the kind of relationship that you run to the door at 5:30pm when the car rolls into the driveway because daddy is home! The kind where the little guy has his baseball glove on his left hand and daddy’s grasped firmly in his right, just waiting to play catch in the backyard while discussing life. Kind of like the relationship you feel in this song “My Old Man”.

November 22, 2015 is a day that will forever live in my memory, as it was the day I said hello to my first born son, Griffin. This was also the moment I realized that I was… a dad and as soon as I saw that little face my life was completely transformed. I don’t know that I fully understood what love was until I held that little guy in my arms for the first time.

Got a son of my own
He's always trying
To go everywhere I go
Do the best I can to raise him up there right way
Hoping that he someday wants to be
Like his old man
                                                                       -Zach Brown Band (My Old Man)

The little guy is three years old now and we have added another little guy to our household Griffin’s baby brother Vaughn. So, I am now a dad of two sons and I have not been happier in my entire life. Both of these little guys are amazing beautiful souls. I am not sure either will like baseball or rush to the door at 5:30pm when I get home. I do know, I will be rushing home at 5:30pm (or sooner) to burst through the door and scoop them up to shower them with all sorts of love. Just because your parents raised you a certain way, doesn’t lock you into that parenting style or that you will have those same tendencies. My hope is both boys remember growing up as a wonderful experience and something they will treasure as they proceed through life.